Are narcissists happy people generally?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 11:45
Narcissists are careful to be whatever you want them to be. From the minute you met them, they are the most charming, attentive, kind, heroic, loyal and lovable person you have ever known.
The secret to the universe (apologies to Douglas Adams) is based on three things: One, you are going to be happy if you know who you are. Two, if you know what you want in life and three, you do no harm to other people.
Someone commented that in a photo of my ex narcissist, he didn't look so evil. A friend laughed and replied that if narcissists showed their monster side, no one would ever get in bed with them.
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Can you imagine living your life pretending to be someone you aren't?
Very few narcissists ever achieve these dreams, instead they spend hours on the sofa playing video games, watching porn and eating junk food. They talk about starting an exercise program, going back to college, going to rehab or starting therapy to deal with their issues.
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They tell you stories about their heroism, whether it's about saving a cat or taking care of their elderly grandparents.
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I liken that kind of life to bribing a small child with the promise of a new toy. Then dressing the kid to perfection and forcing them to sit still for two hours at a place they don't want to be.
Narcissists have many secrets. And they hide them from everyone. No one gets to see their real self, especially in the beginning. If you are involved with one, you will eventually get glimpses at what lies beneath the mask but you won't believe it.
As for knowing what they want in life, Narcissists have no idea. Their dreams are always fantasies, some vague plan based on winning the lottery, marrying a billionaire, becoming a popular YouTuber, a famous singer, a movie star or winning it all in Las Vegas.
Unfortunately, these plans never happen. They stay on that sofa, talking about what color their Lamborghini is going to be, how many rooms their dream house will have and which celebrity they are going to sleep with.
They flash devastating smiles, flirt with people who are usually ignored, talk to those who believe themselves to be uninteresting, compliment those with insecurities.
They shower people with kindness, holding doors open for everyone, sprinting across a parking lot to help an old lady load her groceries. They love animals, always making a show of petting them. They pretend to adore children, always playing with them.
Narcissists can never be happy. They don't understand the importance of living an authentic life and they never will.
The child can survive it, but immediately afterwards, they run outside and get as dirty as they can, rip their clothes and take out their aggressions on whoever crosses their path. That basically sums up why a narcissist behaves like they do. They have the emotional mentality of a child.
In short, narcissists can read people. They quickly assess what you want or need in your life and like a chameleon, that is who they will become. But it isn't who they are and it never will be.
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They convince you that they have honor, telling you how a sick friend asked them to make a $750 bank deposit for them but they were mugged and the money taken. Of course, the narcissist put their own money in the friend's account.
Narcissists have no idea who they are because they have worn a mask their whole life. They KNOW there is something wrong with them, something so bad they have to hide it, so they construct a “false self “ which they present to the public.
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As for doing no harm to others, that is a concept a narcissist can never grasp. People, all people, in their lives are there for only one purpose: to fulfill the narcissist's needs. This leaves a wake of destruction in their paths.
They tell you how loyal they are, having given up someone special because their best friend was in love with the same man or woman and they could never betray a friend.
I say NO. Narcissists are living a lie, so how could they ever be happy?
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